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WHAT IS THIS PLACE?
     I am unsure where you are right now, I'm still trying to figure it out.
     It seems like you've stumbled into a page
     few people will ever see in their life.
     
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HOW DO I LEAVE?
     If I knew how to leave, I wouldn't be stuck here with you now would I?

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HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE?
  Gosh, how long has it been now? Over 30 years?
  Judging by how my text is formatted, I must be from the late 80's early 90's.